Saying No

Hello there~
Another beautiful sunny day in Cambridge, who knew January was like this? Cold as heck, but hopeful and inspiring, something I have really missed. Lately I am working with the space between the cracks, not filling them up, leaving them open to breathe. I am turning down involvement in yoga classes, meditation groups, dance groups, so that I can be open for the spontaneous gifts of spirit. This 100 day gong, it is powerful. New and Big opportunities are simmering, and I am open for them:) Like a trip to Turkey this spring, and another to Scotland next fall. I don't know how yet, but I am going to be there. Each day that I write my desires get more clear, more specific, more true. Some things I don't write anymore, like that I want new socks and stuff. I write more about what I truly want, which is ways of being in the world, movement about the planet, deep rest and space, fruitfulness in relationships. More closely, I want this trip to NC for late January to really happen! Send your love sisters.... Send your blessings spirit.... I send mine out in great guffaws and little winks and nods :)
~Many Happy Returns of the Day~

100 Day Gong

It's a new year, a yummy sprout, fresh sky, sweet love! It felt so good to be all 5 of us, each element present, each umbilical offering of mine at home this Christmas. We ate so much chocolate and blue cheese and celery, and went on outings everyday; to London, downtown Cambridge, many different parks and green spaces, and good hot curry houses. Now my teenager is back in Mulberry Grove and I am immersed in my studies again. I am writing a paper on the turning dervishes of Turkey, creating genealogy trees and immersing myself in the movement practices of Islam, good stuff. For the new year I am committed to getting a great salaried job that I love and that utilizes all of my skills, to creating a personal dance practice that is wholly me, to being present. I begin with a 100 day gong, writing 100 intentions and desires each night for 100 days. For 100 days I will breathe and sit still in my cocoon every single night, creating internal space that I hope will be reflected in the patterning of my outside life. Day 3 today... Much Beautiful Light!

The Light Returns

Panto, short for pantomime, is an English Christmas tradition. The whole family goes to the theatre together: some the ballet, some a West End musical, some a family panto. Today we went to The Magic Lamp, a show in the round made of shadow and light, a really funny new version of A Thousand and One Nights, creative theatre at its best. With only two overhead projectors, some pans of oil, food coloring, paper cutouts, and a remote control car, the two figures in black transported us out of ourselves and into a place of magic. I felt at home inside the theatre, willingly going for a carpet ride with the performers, happy with my family; and I affirmed with my presence and my enjoyment that art as its own unique stitch in the side of society is more important to my sense of place than any other institution or theology. Oh one vivid experience at a time, ahh one lucid moment after another amidst the grey struggles of arctic survival, sigh, one more minute of sun energy today...I am hopeful and happy and believe that the spring will come with bounteous beauty.

Excavating the Heart

In stillness I find my center, my peace, my homecoming. The rhythms of life are so strong, so swelling and pathological at times that I cannot expect to have hours for going into beauty; I must find it in an instant. And so, I sit very still, I cross my legs and fold my fingers together and excavate my heart. Inside of it I find a crystalline cavern so lovely that I am okay, at the park, in the market, on the train, in my home, I am okay and capable and strong, and then I am beautiful, and everything around me is beautiful. I think this is how I will help to create peace, by sitting still.
Happy Holidays dear lovers...

First Term Paper

With this first foray into being judged in the academic world again I learned a few lessons I didn't expect. I wrote a beautiful paper, and had to re-write it in a more direct and less beautiful way. I had to answer the assignment question instead of using the assignment as a platform for things I wanted to say anyway, and this was a good but hard lesson about being in the world. Then, my body reacted so strongly that I became completely cramped up in my diaphragm every time I sat down to edit! I eventually gave myself a deadline two days earlier than the actual deadline, worked the best I could while resting my body as much as possible, and handed in a good but not great paper. My old soldier, the over-achiever, was put to rest. This I did not anticipate! And then, two beautiful voices emerged...the voice that really wants to write lovely poetic books about embodying energy and the voice that wants to question how we embody language, how we are what we say. This is a glorious outcome worth more than any grade; and I am so thankful for the oppression of convention that brought me to these new desires and helped me to name them. I realize that this whole darn thing about going back to school is all about adding another dimension to my allready multifaceted diamond self...and then I laugh, who needs to be so complicated anyway! We are all diamonds in the rough.
Much Much Love!

Oak Moon

As I hole up in the library typing my term papers, over 30 pages in all, I look up and see the waxing oak moon smiling down at me. I am reminded that moon messages are powerful transmitters of love, so I send some love out to my friends who are far apart, trusting that it will land on you next time you gaze on her lovely face.

My mother used to sing a wonderful song about the moon to me when I was young, and I share the words with you here.

I see the moon, the moon sees me
The moon sees the ones I long to see
So god bless the moon, and god bless me
And god bless the ones I long to see

I had a heart and it was true
but now it's gone from me to you
So take good care, as I have done
for you have two and I have one

(repeat first part)

It seems to me that god above
created you for me to love
She picked you out from all the rest
because she knew I'd love you best

Happy Powerful Oak Moon Blessings...
Thanks Mom,

Molly Dancers

Well, after some hard weeks I did find some nice English people last night:) They are traditional Morris Dancers and their side (group) is the Gog Magog Molly Dancers. Morris dancers traditionally wear blackface and do formation dances with clogs or step-hop steps. Some use sticks and flags, some percussion bells that they wear in the hands, some swords, and some just the body. It is a very upright dance that reminds me of the happy dance, a lot of stomping and roaring while we move in these precise groupings. We change direction in the air on the half beat! It is very vigorous, and fun, and weird to my sensibilities. While the origins are unclear it is known to be related to trick-or-treating by the peasants, in an old tradition where the social hierarchy gets inverted on certain days of the year. If the upper classes did not pay or feed the peasants for their dancing then they would plow up their gardens! Later it became the working class dance for beer money. The movements are very factory like in some ways. The Cambridge Side, Gog Magog, has decided that the tradition should be living and change with the times, so instead of wearing blackface they paint their faces in bright colors and wear outlandish super bright and wild clothing. They are excited that I am an anthropologist and want me to come and practice and perform and video and the whole bit. We'll see if that's how it develops. In the meantime, I had such a good time with some great English people, and that is really good for my soul... And oh yes, the pub before and after practice:)
To living traditions~