Contracts

Life Giver

My children like to play to with my cell phone, taking random pictures and pretending to call China, what child doesn't?  Last week they changed my ring-tone to that wonderful song from the 60's, "It's a gift to be simple, It's a gift to be free, It's a gift to come home where we like to be".  Delight is in the details~


Two weeks ago my drier arrived.  I happily live without a car.  I will not, however, continue to find creative ways of stringing laundry across my kitchen.  This is not Siberia, and I am a posh spoilt American in the end.  Being also a granola loving hippy in the end, I find the lived in mess of daily life so comforting...and the meows of our cat, and long naps, and hot chocolate.  Delight is in the senses~


One week ago today, we were in a major car accident.  Mathias bolted into a very busy intersection without stopping, and it really happened, he was hit by a car going at a very fast speed.  The car swerved, tried to stop, Mathias took the impact on his left side.  That boy, sitting in the ambulance, just kept talking about texting his friends that he really got to see the inside.  He grilled them about every detail he saw, and walked away without so much as a single scratch or bruise!  "Mom", he said, "the angel saved me."  Life Giver Aho!  Every day I wrap them in angelic love.  That day I did it twice for good measure.  Delight is in the big things~~~


As we gather close to each other in the aftermath of, of, of everything, I think repeatedly on a story told often by our sheikh in London.  "There is a traditional Chinese fable that illustrates the need to reverse our ordinary way of thinking and of viewing events.  It tells of how a poor farmer had a horse that ran off into the country of the barbarians.  All his neighbours offered their condolences but the farmer said, 'How do you know that this isn't good fortune?'  A few months later the horse returned bringing with it a barbarian's horse of excellent stock.  All his neighbors offered their congratulations but the farmer said, 'How do you know that this isn't a disaster?'  The two horses bred and soon the farmer had a whole herd of fine horses.  One day when the farmer's son was riding one of them he fell off and broke his hipbone.  All the neighbours offered the farmer their condolences but he said, 'How do you know this isn't good fortune?'  A year later the barbarians invaded the frontier and all the fit young men were called up and most of them died in the war but the farmer's son survived.  Thus good fortune can be disaster and vice-versa.  Who can tell how events will be transformed?  So we can learn to turn around the view we have of almost all the events in our lives."  Delight is in deepest trust and knowing~  It is a delight so deep and normal as to be missed...the sound of a drier, the glow of a radiator, the smell of a starry night holding a new contract on life.  To be a chalice of earth, that is all I desire now.  It contains universes of love.  Aho!


Jacobs, Philip. 2006. Oneself: Life as a Means of Transformation. Winchester: O Books. 111-112.

Chalice

 

~O sun she rises, shakes out her fiery mane, purple and windy on a glorious song~

Joyous Year of the Rabbit!

Structures of crystal and light 

the very essence 

of this new life

Thank you 

Baby Dinosaurs

Lol.  When you are part genius and terminally weird what can you expect??  Some cried, some came back for a second night, some fell in love with "the tai chi dance", others fell asleep.  Namaste to all who witnessed~ 

http://cambridgetab.co.uk/featured-image/inspired 

 It's good to be home!

Performance

Live performance is just awesome.  It brings us into the moment so viscerally, so deeply, there is simply nowhere else to go.  Onstage, lights exposing our nakedness, we performers must come out, crack the seeds of our selves open, and reach toward our depths, or die without birth.  It had been too long!  Too long away from performance, too long away from healing work.  I must and  I will and I am integrating these aspects back into my life in a big big way.  
How lucky, how fortunate, how blessed, to perform five nights so soon upon arrival in England.  I am dancing an old solo, from when Open Air Dance was brand new, and I put on that crazy huge show while five months pregnant!  Who remembers that?  It was beautiful, turtles painted in mud and maidens in turquoise plether :) I am not the worlds best performer this week, but I am pretty good, getting it spot on at least some of the nights.  The audience comes into our s-l-o-w state of being at any rate, and so the choreography stands.  
Tonight, I will kiss the moon in the headlamps of the stage lights once again~  Ohm.

Space

The sky is gray.  So gray.  Seagulls flock on my daily walks in the mud.  So much mud.  Rain pours down the windows.  I love it!  Something about the land, my body here, the general consciousness in interaction, is very very happy.  I believe it is a sense of the sacred.  In my journey, I feel home: not home as in where I grew up, but home in my own self, home in this temple of bones, as if I have been erased and am just a lovely pure thought coming into form again.  Exquisite.

My village is three blocks long.  In these three blocks there rests a church from the 12th century, four pubs, a playground, an art gallery, some mud and brick structures and a handful of well designed homes.  It is perfect.  So perfect.  Commerce at an ebb, bells through the day, birds at every glimpse, space to breathe.  Hu~

Quiet

I'd like to be silent for awhile, still.  I'd like to sleep for a long long time.  I'd like to cry until I have no more tears left, and just be tiny, quiet.  And so I will.  With a furnace in my heart, resting in my own new space, close to nature, shhhhh.  I am laughing when I cry these days =)  We are here.